Kid-Friendly Recipes

Wednesday 8 October 2014

My Experience With PND and Coping With Newborn #3


This post diverts a bit from my usual reviews on things to do in Brisbane, but I feel like I want to share my experience to-date after the birth of my third child.  I'm not the perfect parent by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm trying, I'm growing and I'm happy to say I think I'm improving! (with age or experience I'm not sure!?).

So... Our family's newest member - son#3 - is now 1 month old.  I haven't posted for a while because... well we've all been a bit busy getting to know this little man and developing our new routine (aka going with the flow and taking each day as it comes!). 

I am both relieved (as he becomes stronger, more robust and sleeps longer) and a little wistful (this will 99% certain be our last bub - never say never?!) so I'm trying to inhale loads of baby-head smell and memorise every scrunched-up facial expression, back-arch and gurgle.

My previous experiences with PND
Thankfully, over the past month, I haven't really experienced the effects of PND.  However with my first two babies, that familiar weight of anxiety crept in almost immediately after each birth.  It was a dull, but constant knot in my stomach.  An expectation that something terrible was going to happen and a constant feeling of dread.  Tears streamed every day.  It was worst with my first son because he was born with a couple minor health issues that made life a fair bit more difficult at the outset - hip-dysplasia and a tongue-tie. Due to the hip-dysplasia, he was in a brace for the first 2 months of his life. This made bathing, feeding, nappy-changing and even holding him, really hard.  I didn't want others to hold him because it could hurt his body the way the brace was on.  The tongue-tie made breast-feeding excruciating, ripped apart my nipples, and contributed to my developing multiple cases of mastitis.  I felt like a failure as mum. Almost like I didn't deserve to have these beautiful babies in my care.  I felt like I was not good enough to be their mum and that surely "something bad" would happen. 

Thankfully, I never struggled to bond with my babies - almost the opposite. I actually felt an incredibly strong connection, an adoration that was almost overwhelming and an incredible desire to protect these little people with my life and keep them safe at all costs. I think it was that intense sense of responsibility that fed my anxiety and it was crippling.  Paralysing.  I was fearful of everything.  My anxiety prevented me from accepting help from anyone, so I struggled through pretty much on my own.  I trusted my husband and my mother and NO ONE else to care for my babies. It wasn't that I didn't have offers from friends and extended family - I just could not have left my precious parcels with them for fear that something terrible may happen in my absence.  

Then there was the obsession with germs... I previously worried a lot about germs and bub getting sick and it stopped me from getting out of the house and of course that only added to the depression and anxiety that shadowed me for the first 12 months after each of their births.  

This Time Around
I still feel prickles of anxiety this time around.  My heart races with panic in certain circumstances (like at my son's school, where there have been reported cases of Whooping Cough - super scary!!).  BUT... I am adamant that I don't want FEAR to rule my life anymore.  I don't want to stay locked in the house and I don't want to shun family and friends.  I know I have done all I can to protect my newborn - with boosters for myself and hubby and all close relatives.  I am careful to not let anyone cuddle him if I'm not certain they've had their booster and I'll keep him close in my ergo until he has had his first round of immunisation (and probably even until after the 2nd round).  I have created a safe buffer for him, and now I need to allow myself to continue on with my life and allow myself to relax... to breathe... to smile... to continue enjoying life... rather than living in a suspended fog where I hold my breath and imagine all the terrible potentials that fuel my fear.

What Keeps Me Away From the Dark
So far, so good!  I haven't allowed my ingrained fears to keep me at home. I actually believe the main reason for my being able to cope so much better this time around is thanks to my two older sons.  I don't want their lives to stop because my anxiety keeps me from leaving the house.  I want them to be able to be outdoors, seeing friends and living their lives.  We may have to modify a few things (I've said no to doing "show & tell" with son#3 in my son#1's prep class) but for the most part, life goes on and I want my boys to keep enjoying their lives.  Another thing that I feel has helped me to keep my depression & anxiety at bay, is that it is SPRING TIME!! My first two were Winter-babies... this lovely chubbly is a Spring-baby and that has made all the difference in terms of my enthusiasm for heading into the great outdoors (much nicer to head out into beautiful sunny days, rather than cold & windy wintery days) and my mood in general.  I didn't actually plan his birth for Spring, and of course I've no way of knowing how I might have coped differently if it were winter, but I know that my head feels clearer and my mood is brighter in the warmer months. So I'm grateful that fate deemed my son#3 be born in late August.  IF we were to have another bub who happened to arrive in winter, I would need to PLAN for my mental health after his/her birth.

I am also writing in my personal family blog more.  I am saving photos.  Printing holiday photos and talking about them with my older boys.  And I'm trying so hard to make the conscious choice to be grateful and happy.  When son#2 told me recently he wanted to go to a family where the mum wasn't angry, it almost tore me apart because I have been trying SO hard to practice Positive Parenting.  I guess we can't always be the "perfectly positive parent" and we won't always escape harsh words from our children - it's part and parcel of parenting.  All I can do is keep on trying and keep on loving!

I've found that since I'ye pushed myself to keep living my life and to consciously parent... I am finding myself being more relaxed and happy and my feeling of "self" is actually more present with 3 children than it was with only one.  

The PND Spectrum I am acutely aware that my experience with PND has been at the mild end of the spectrum.  I was able to treat my depression and anxiety with trips to my GP, followed by counseling sessions, exercise, and reading a lot of good books.  I also quit a long-term job that was extremely stressful and took a leap of faith in focusing solely on working from home.  I had faith that "everything will be okay" - in terms of finances, my relationship with hubby, kids and everything really.  

For some, though, I know that there can be no such belief that "everything will be okay".  I know that sometimes women (and men) struggling with PND are not able to see the light on the horizon. Thankfully there is a lot of great help out there now. 

Beyondblue
Lifeline
PANDA

For me, becoming a parent triggered my pre-existing depression and anxiety. I found that being a parent not only changed my life; it changed my hormones, which changed my moods; it changed my ability to cope and it changed my outlook in ways I couldn't have predicted or controlled.  But talking helps, so let's keep the conversation going.






Wednesday 4 June 2014

Heathly Banana Muffins for a Quick Picnic Treat


Your kids will never notice the  
chia seeds and LSA mix 
in these yummy 
Banana Muffins!! 

Today we are going to a play date in the park at Hawthorne Park on Riding Road, Hawthorne.  This will be our first visit, so I'll be sure to review it in the coming days.

Every good play date needs snacks, and I happened to have some over-ripe bananas sitting on my kitchen bench.  A quick google for Healthy Banana Bread led me to a recipe on taste.com.au that I modified slightly, and chose to bake in the mini-muffin tray, rather than a bread tin.
 
Below is my modified version, but you can see the original recipe here:

Ingredients
Spray oil
265g (1 3/4 cups) self-raising flour
40g (1/4 cup) plain flour

1/4 cup desiccated coconut
1/4 cup ground LSA mix (linseed, sunflower seeds & almond)
2 tablespoons chia seeds
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 cup, firmly packed) brown sugar

1/2 cup whole milk
1/2 cup Greek yoghurt (or whatever yoghurt you have in the fridge)
2 eggs, lightly whisked

2 teaspoons vanilla
1/4 cup of oil (I had canola, but olive or whatever will do)
2 overripe medium bananas, mashed

Step 1
Preheat oven to 180°C. Grease mini-muffin tray with spray oil.

Step 2
Combine dry ingredients and make a well in the centre. Place the milk, eggs, melted butter and banana in a medium bowl, and stir until well combined. Add the banana mixture and stir until just combined. Spoon the mixture into the mini-muffin tray.

Step 3
Bake in preheated oven for 20-25 minutes or until the muffins begin to pull away from the edge of the tray and the tops spring back. Remove from oven and set aside in the pan for 5 minutes. Turn onto a wire rack to cool completely.

Wednesday 28 May 2014

Birthing Plan - Should Older Siblings be Present?

Older children at the birth of their sibling...
yes or no???

 (my older boys as beautiful newborns)

Lately I have been thinking a lot about my birth plan for the impending arrival of #3.  It has been 4 years since our last child was born and I am aware of my need to refresh my knowledge.  In particular, this time around, I have been pondering whether or not our two older sons should be present for the birth of their new little brother.

Today marks the 27-week gestation point and our two older boys have just turned 4 and 6 years old.  They are SUPER excited to be getting a little brother - woohoo!! another superhero to fight the baddies, and another Lego "master builder" in the making.  BUT, they have indicated some interest in being there when their little bro "comes out".

My husband's reaction is "are you crazy? No way!".  My thoughts are split...

I'm really excited about our third bub's arrival and think it would be a fantastic opportunity to share that special moment with our older children.  An opportunity for my kids to witness something REAL, something uncensored, something that is completely natural yet almost magical... and hopefully something that will allow them a wonderfully close bond with their brother as they were there to witness his arrival on earth... 

... yet I also have a lot of questions swirling in my mind.... will the boys be scared? will it be too distracting for me? what if things don't go "to plan"...? 

We are booked into the Greenslopes Private Maternity Hospital (which we toured the other day and looks very flash indeed so I'll be sure to review it post birth!) and their mentality seems to be supportive of what the mother wants.  So when I asked about having our older boys present at the birth, the midwife responded with a "we will support your decision, however you want to consider your ability to maintain your focus for the birth" (or something to that effect!).

And as I dig back into that hazy memory of my previous two "uncomplicated" births, I try to recall just how intense the births were, and how much inward focus I needed to have... and I wonder if I would be able to be totally "in the zone" with my older kids there.  And of course, the question of how will it impact on them?

Child birth can be scary for the unprepared spectator.  My younger sister was 21 years old when she was an unexpected (but totally welcome) family member in the birthing suite for the arrival of my first son (she drove my mum to the hospital and decided to stay for support).  Despite being an adult, I think she was truly shocked at the whole ordeal.  She had not planned to be there, so had no prior knowledge of what labour looks like (other than the completely unrealistic TV version) and for her, seeing me (her sister) struggling to cope with intense pain; my contorted facial expressions and all the groaning/animalistic noises... it was all a bit much and she excused herself after about 20 minutes.  Looking back, I think she felt helpless, as her offers of water/ice/massages were met with "no/No/NO!... thank you".  So she probably figured she was more use out of the way.

Anyway... in terms of my boys, I am doing all of the obvious preparatory things, like reading them birthing books and trying to answer their questions about the birth as honestly as possible.  I haven't yet shown them a video of child birth (there are lots of beautiful vaginal child birth videos on Youtube) but am considering this as an option.

Of course my husband and I need to be on the same page with all of this... so I have the next 14 weeks or so to ponder this one - discuss it with my children and husband - and hopefully come to a decision that I'm happy with.  

I would love to hear your perspective on this topic.  Have you chosen to have your older children present at the birth of a younger sibling?  Did you decide not to do so?  Any advice to give either way?



FREE Zumba in the Park

Shake Your Groove Thing
at Brisbane City Council's FREE
Zumba classes in the park...

Have you stumbled upon all the cool FREE fitness activities in Brisbane that our City Council puts on?  If not, then head over to BCC Active Parks to find a whole range of fitness activities to suit every level of fitness.



The Activity?
I recently joined in a Zumba class at Majestic Park, Coorparoo.  It was a mid-morning class that fit in perfectly with my post-school-drop off schedule.

Who Should Attend?
There were about 30 ladies, ranging from uni students through to senior citizens.

What Was the Vibe?
This class was 30mins of booty-shakin', hip-swingin' fun that was easy to follow and allowed for ALL levels - as I'm pregnant, I kept it low-impact, but my friend was keen to add in the high-intensity options.  The moves are fun and the music is intoxicating so you really don't notice you're working up a sweat.  The instructor was very entertaining and she created a very relaxed vibe - lots of mums arrived a little late and just jumped in on the fun.  The feeling I got was that everyone was happy to be out in the fresh air, shakin their groove thing and having a laugh... with zero pain to your wallet!  What more could you ask for??

When:  Something different on every day of the week.

Where:  Activities are held all over Brisbane.

Keen to find out more? Check out Brisbane City Council's Active Parks website http://www.brisbane.qld.gov.au/whats-on/events-listed-type/sports-recreation-programs/active-parks-events#/?i=6

Tuesday 27 May 2014

Brisbane City Botanic Garden PLAYGROUND!!

If you haven't been to check out the new 
Brisbane City Botanic Gardens Playground
then as they say,  
do yourself a favour....

This new park is located along the riverside walk of the City Botanical Gardens and it is totally awesome!!  We visited mid-week, around lunchtime, and there were even curious adults walking through and trying out all the cool interactive features this park has.
There are various musical stations including giant pipes, piano and drums, as well as those voice transponder things (?!) where you talk into one end of the pipe and it comes out at another end (and it actually works!!).
The physical space the park takes up is huge - so there could never be too many kids crowding the space, and from a parent-trying-to-keep-an-eye-on-my-kids perspective, it is all quite open so I could see my two monkeys no matter which part of the park they had raced of to explore.

There is a massive sandpit with lots of the mechanical diggers that kids just LOVE.

The park also caters for kids (and adults!) in wheelchairs with a spinning roundy thing that allowed for the safe securing of two wheelchairs, plus a special swing that allowed for safely securing both small and big kids.

We spent an hour at this park and it still was not long enough - we will definitely be back many many times as there is so much to explore at the Brisbane City Botanical Gardens Playground.

Ages:  1 - 101 years old.  This park is very much suitable for all ages.  There are plenty for the toddling kids as well as the bigger kids.

Getting There: We parked in Alice Street - $4/Hr, but you could also easily catch there ferry or bus.

What to Take:  Definitely pack your picnic rug and some snacks as the lush grass is so inviting and you may need a rest in between all the playing and exploring.  

Location:  The City Botanic Gardens Playground is located at 147 Alice Street, Brisbane City.  Follow the riverside walk along and you cannot miss it!

Brisbane City Botanic Gardens Playground





Thursday 20 March 2014

Picnic in the Roma Street Parklands

 Picnic Days at Roma Street Parklands



At the moment, in my house, Fridays are "Picnic Day" for me and my 3 year-old.  Master 5 is at school, there is no kindy for Master 3 and (hopefully) all my work is done.  So, we are free to pack a yummy lunch and a blanket and go get our picnic on at one of Brisbane's beautiful parklands.  

Getting There
Sometimes we train it, sometimes we drive. 

Either way, our park of choice in recent times is the rambling Roma Street Parklands.  With lush green grass, an abundance of shady trees and plenty of bbq's, the Roma Street Parklands are always popular, but never feel crowded.

Roma Street Parklands are super easy to get via train, as the station is a short stroll away.  

Parking is never a problem though, and it will cost you about $4 for an hour.  

An hour is usually just perfect for us - enough time to eat our own picnic, feed the ducks and fish, wander around the boardwalks and stepping stones of the pond, and explore along the banks where we undoubtedly spy water dragons and other creatures.

What to Take
We always make sure we pack some extra bread to feed the ducks and fish in the massive pond. There are some pretty big fish in that pond, and they can get quite aggressive when fighting other fish and ducks for the bread - the frothy melee entertains Master 3 no end.
 
You may want to take a ball or frisbee as there is truly so much space that you needn't worry about disrupting other picnic-goers.

The Facilities
A quick stop at the toilets before we leave is mandatory and these are toilets have always been clean and well maintained, with full soap-dispensers - such a relief when you are taking a toddler (or yourself) to the public toilets.






Chairs2Share
We noticed a couple of visits ago this sign that details a cute council initiative called Chairs2share.

These lovely deck chairs look so bright and cheery and are always utilised by groups and individuals - either enjoying a get together or simply chilling out on their lunch break.

It's little ideas like this that make Brisbane's local parks even better










Location:











Monday 17 March 2014

The Sciencentre - Educational AND Fun for Brisbane Families

Get Your Science on at Brisbane's Sciencentre!!




After weeks of pestering, we finally took our kids back to the Sciencentre at South Bank.  This was our third visit - the first was last year, not long after our oldest turned 5.  It isn't a cheap activity - a family of 2 adults and up to 4 kids costs $44.50 - so I was initially unsure as to whether we would get value out of it, but our 5 and 3 year old absolutely LOVE visiting the Sciencentre - so much in fact we are considering getting an annual pass for our family.

Located within the Queensland Museum precinct - and just upstairs from the much-loved Playasaurus - Brisbane's Sciencentre is jam-packed with hands-on activities that will appeal to kids and adults of all ages.

Your pass is good for the entire day, so you can save on food expenses by packing a picnic and then venturing out to the grassy areas for some lunch and a toilet break, then get back into the fun and games (and learning!) of the Sciencentre.  If your trip is more spontaneous (like our weekend jaunt was) then you can always drop into the Museum cafe for something delicious.

I must admit that it can get a bit tiring if you are chasing a 3 year-old from exhibit to exhibit and that is where the annual pass becomes really appealing. Like with any annual pass - it allows you the luxury of staying only as long as it suits, and then you leave without the guilt of wasting a full day pass after only an hour or two.
 
Location: Corner of Grey & Melbourne Streets, South Bank, South Brisbane

Open Hours: 7 days 9:30am-5:00pm

Parking: Paid street or $15 on site.

Public Transport: Train, South Bank.
Cost:  Family Pass $44.50

Age:  Probably 4+ however any age will be entertained by the lights and hands-on activities.
 

Wednesday 19 February 2014

FREE SPORTS FOR THE LITTLIES

COOL SPORTS FOR LITTLE KIDS


As a mum of two wild - ummm, I mean energetic - boys, I know the importance of getting the kids outside and just letting them burn off some energy.  With my oldest beginning Prep this year, I started looking for some FREE after school sporting activities.  I was after activities that were local and also relaxed (ie no need to book, and if you don't feel like turning up one week, that's a-okay).

I stumbled across the "Sports for Little Kids" on the Brisbane City Council website and it fits the bill perfectly.  Run by Coolsports and provided free of charge by the Brisbane City Council, this activity is totally just a matter of turning up and joining in (or watching, or playing on the playground... whatever takes your kids' fancy).

Yesterday was week 3 of these activities and they have been absolutely fantastic for my boys.  My 5-year old is the oldest and the youngest are just learning to walk.  Parents are encouraged to join in and the kids do a whole range of games and activities that promote hand-eye coordination and general sports skills.

Here are some pics from our first week at our local, however there are similar activities held all over Brisbane, so you'll be sure to find one nearby.  Check out their website for more info http://www.brisbane.qld.gov.au/whats-on/audience/Kids-activities/index.htm#/?i=21

These days we can't escape the message about getting our kids off the couch and moving more - and we all know the physical, mental and social benefits of involving kids in sports and out of school activities - but for me there are two main benefits:

1. my own sanity - which is grave danger when I have both boys indoors for extended periods due to couch cushions being made into forts, lego boxes being emptied onto floors (for the 5th time that day!) and zoned-out kids infront of screen forgetting to get up and go to the toilet (I've become quite good at biting my tongue and "just breathing" when this one happens regularly).

2. happier bedtimes - which are earlier + less-stress due to absolutely knackered little boys who don't have the energy left to put up a fight.  Win-win!!

Oh and one last bonus is that I don't feel guilty for flicking on the tele when we get home, while I make dinner.  Woohoo - guilt-free screen time!

Have you found any other FREE/CHEAP after school activities that suit your family?  Drop me a line and let me know how you get your kids out and active.