Feminism is Coming Into Focus

I'm 36 years old now, and finally I seem to "get" the idea the the world hasn't achieved equality for the sexes and that feminism still has a long, hard road ahead.  The thing that brought this realisation into sharp focus for me this morning was a post on a Facebook page group of which I am a member.

This Facebook group is a healthy weight-loss support group.  In its essence I believe it is a good vehicle for mums to get support and motivation for a fit, active lifestyle.  However, there is an underlying current of body-shaming that, thankfully, is often called out.  Common things like someone posting an image of their "before" photo and lamenting how "gross" they looked.  This is an often-seen example of women attaching their value to the size of their clothes or the number on a scale, however the one that surprised me this morning was a member's post relating to unsolicited male attention and her own reaction and that of other members.

The post was basically about how she pulled up at the service-station car wash and was approached by two blokes, both offering to assist her.  One man was also successful in convincing her that he should pay for her car wash and ending their conversation with "no worries, babe. Hope to see you again".  The member's post gushed out how she had never experienced this attention before, and that the flirting had basically made her day and boosted her self confidence.

All the responses to this post were equally gushing and congratulatory with many other members sharing their own experiences of attention from men, now that they were "hot".

This kind of thinking is incredibly disheartening.  More so, because these women are genuinely trying their best to be healthy, positive role models for their kids, yet see nothing wrong with the exchange that took place at the service station; nor with the response to it on this group's page.

The reason for this apathy is that in today's society of supposed equality, there exists an insidious, ingrained belief that a woman's value is indelibly tied to their level of beauty according to men's standards and as promoted through all channels of media.  The fact that the man offered to assist the woman is not in itself an issue, but it raises plenty of questions:

Is this good Samaritan going around offering random acts of kindness, or only acts of kindness to those deemed beautiful enough?  Was the woman not worthy of his assistance at her "before" weight?  Is her value boosted by the fact that a random man was willing to offer her attention and money?

The underlying message is that women who fit the current "body beautiful" mold are more deserving.. of everything.  Of attention.  Of assistance.  Of love - from others and themselves. However, if the man would not have assisted the woman had she been in the same body that she walked in 12 months earlier - therein lies the problem.  The fact that the man wanted to pay for the car wash is also a problem.  He should be putting his spare cash into more needing pockets - like the Salvation Christmas Appeal, or another deserving charity.